The Ocean - Buried Treasure

[Joff]

I don't have acrobat though so the quality is really poor.  ".docx" is the standard extension for MS word '07.  I'm still hoping to get some feedback on this so please let me know what you think!

I have Microsoft Office 2003. I am not planning to upgrade this anytime soon, so I prefer without the .docx extension (saved as a Word 03 doc).

[Novelty]

Hi, I'm sorry, but which is the latest version?  I got the PDF version which seems to have text missing   Can someone point me to the latest version of the rules without any missing text?  Thanks.

[skipboris]

Hi, I'm sorry, but which is the latest version?  I got the PDF version which seems to have text missing   Can someone point me to the latest version of the rules without any missing text?  Thanks.

I believe this is the only version I have done so far:

http://www.mediafire.com/?mu2zkzm4mg0

[Novelty]

I believe this is the only version I have done so far:
http://www.mediafire.com/?mu2zkzm4mg0

OK, I was looking at the PDF version.  I'll have a look at this instead.

[skipboris]

I believe this is the only version I have done so far:
http://www.mediafire.com/?mu2zkzm4mg0

OK, I was looking at the PDF version.  I'll have a look at this instead.

oh sorry about that.  I think the PDF link is on page 1.  Its really bad quality though.

[Novelty]

Sorry for the delay, here I go.

Since the images of the white meeples (as shown on the tiles) are easily available, could you add them to the Extra Pieces section of the rules?
Treasure Maps: "majority ownership of that feature" = most followers on that feature?
Treasure Hunting: "The tile must match exactly including wind"  LOL, including farting?  I think it needs to be a bit longer to be clearer, i.e. "The tile must match exactly as shown on the treasure map including the wind direction arrow."
City Builder: "If the owning  player has a value of two or greater in any city majority ..."  Huh?  "If the player owning the City Builder has more than two normal followers (or its equivalent) in a city ..."?
Copper Hulls has "Using the simple rules" which seems to be a mandatory statement that the simple rules must be used with copper hulls.  I like the phrasing in Power Cannons better, i.e. "If the simple ocean challenge rules are used"
Storm Reader, Doctor, Body Guard: "immune" would be better phrased as "not affected"
Huge Nets - IMO, this could be a bit broken the more followers you add in future.  Perhaps you might want to increase the benefit (6 and 12 instead of 4 and , but only for one particular fishermen?
Pirate Lord: "For the owning player"  I presume that refers to owning the pirate lord and not to all reefs which the sentence suggests?  "The player owning the Pirate Lord" will remove all ambiguity.
Stealth Ship: NPCs needs to be defined in the footnote.  The "However" after that seems rather weird, "Also" would be a better choice of word there, and the sentence would be better phrased as "However, It also cannot attack..."
Gold: ... this treasure receives a certain number of Victory Points, either 10, 25, and 50 VPs depending as shown on the treasure tile.  Possibilities include 10, 25, and 50 VP.  Do nNot to be confused this tile with the negative victory point trap...
Mermaid Figurehead: apostrophes missing in player's boat (2 occurances)
Leviathan Figurehead: the apostrophe is incorrectly placed after the s.
Trap -1 Boat: Is the boat removed permanent from the rest of the game like the -1 Follower?  Unlike the text for the -1 Follower, the text for -1 Boat doesn't indicate this.
Trap! Poisoned: "reserve" should be "supply"
Trading treasures: "5 Victory Point transaction fee to both players".  The "to" there should be "for".  Also an extra statement is required to state what this "fee" does, do both players remove 5 VPs?

I really do like this expansion.  I'll be making this once my tiles from Chr15lynn arrives!

[skipboris]

Sorry for the delay, here I go.

Since the images of the white meeples (as shown on the tiles) are easily available, could you add them to the Extra Pieces section of the rules?
Treasure Maps: "majority ownership of that feature" = most followers on that feature?
Treasure Hunting: "The tile must match exactly including wind"  LOL, including farting?  I think it needs to be a bit longer to be clearer, i.e. "The tile must match exactly as shown on the treasure map including the wind direction arrow."
City Builder: "If the owning  player has a value of two or greater in any city majority ..."  Huh?  "If the player owning the City Builder has more than two normal followers (or its equivalent) in a city ..."?
Copper Hulls has "Using the simple rules" which seems to be a mandatory statement that the simple rules must be used with copper hulls.  I like the phrasing in Power Cannons better, i.e. "If the simple ocean challenge rules are used"
Storm Reader, Doctor, Body Guard: "immune" would be better phrased as "not affected"
Huge Nets - IMO, this could be a bit broken the more followers you add in future.  Perhaps you might want to increase the benefit (6 and 12 instead of 4 and , but only for one particular fishermen? //I need to test this further to see if it really is broken
Pirate Lord: "For the owning player"  I presume that refers to owning the pirate lord and not to all reefs which the sentence suggests?  "The player owning the Pirate Lord" will remove all ambiguity.
Stealth Ship: NPCs needs to be defined in the footnote.  The "However" after that seems rather weird, "Also" would be a better choice of word there, and the sentence would be better phrased as "However, It also cannot attack..."
Gold: ... this treasure receives a certain number of Victory Points, either 10, 25, and 50 VPs depending as shown on the treasure tile.  Possibilities include 10, 25, and 50 VP.  Do nNot to be confused this tile with the negative victory point trap...
Mermaid Figurehead: apostrophes missing in player's boat (2 occurances)
Leviathan Figurehead: the apostrophe is incorrectly placed after the s.
Trap -1 Boat: Is the boat removed permanent from the rest of the game like the -1 Follower?  Unlike the text for the -1 Follower, the text for -1 Boat doesn't indicate this.
Trap! Poisoned: "reserve" should be "supply"
Trading treasures: "5 Victory Point transaction fee to both players".  The "to" there should be "for".  Also an extra statement is required to state what this "fee" does, do both players remove 5 VPs?  //This fee is needed to discourage abuse of this system.

I really do like this expansion.  I'll be making this once my tiles from Chr15lynn arrives!

Thanks for the feedback!  I LOL'd at the wind comment.  Forgot about that particular context.  A couple other of my comments are in RED.  Anyways I'll try to get this cleaned up and ready for public soon.

[skipboris]

Heres 0.2

http://www.mediafire.com/?lnmm2nkmkw0

Mostly this just addresses Novelty's comments.  Let me know what you think.

[Gwommy]

Here are my edits and there are some questions as well:

==Treasure Hunting
then the player with the map loses his map but claims no treasure.
-change 'but' to 'and'.

==Tresure Challenge
To initiate a Treasure Challenge, a player simply sails his boat to a tile adjacent (including diagonals) to another players boat
-need apostrophe for player's boat.

(that is, the owning player has the treasure map of that tile)
-?-owning player of what?  This just sounds confusing to me.

The challenger may then immediately turn in the map to claim a treasure.
-?-so if an opponent wins through a challenge, he doesn't have to dig and wait for 3 turns?

==Power Cannons & Speed Sails
-Just noticed that all the other treasure names are capitolized in the description except for these two items.

==Speed Sails
However to obtain this extra free move, all his actions that round must be used to move sailors.
-The comma goes after 'however', remove the comma after 'move', and change to "all of his actions..."

==Doctor
All of this player’s followers are not affected by disaster, if the owning player chooses them to be.
-The comma can be removed.

==Huge Net
The player with the Giant Fishing Nets treasure catches more fish than anyone else.
-Shouldn't "Giant Fishing Nets" be "Huge Net" since that seems to be the original name of the treasure?

==Body Guard
-Bodyguard is one word, there are 4 instances in this paragraph that should be changed(including the title).

All of this player’s followers cannot be betrayed and sent to Chateau D’If island.
-The "D" in "D'If" is not capitalized and "island" doesn't need to be there.
-Depending on what you are trying to say, is "and" the correct term?  If so, it should be "and are".  If not, then it should be "or".

==Pirate Lord
Using the advanced rules this player draws one extra tile per pirate on the reef.
-Comma after "advanced rules"

All these bonuses stack with pirate sanctuaries.
-should be "all of these"

For this player, unfinished pirate sanctuaries score normally during final scoring instead of subtracting from the players score.
-Need apostrophe for "player's score"

==Stealth Ship
To remove stealth from a boat, again it costs one move action.
-You can remove the comma and the word, "again".

If playing without ocean challenges or without any expansions, remove this tile from play and draw again.
-?-Does that really mean ANY expansion, even Cathars for example?  Or do you mean just ocean expansions?

==Commodore
The player with the Commodore Treasure has recruited an elite fleet commander!
-Treasure is capitalized here, where all previous mentions of 'treasure' has not been capitalized.  Same for the following 3 treasure descriptions.

==Leviathan figurehead
-Figurehead should be capitalized.

==Island Explorer
In other words this player is considered to be landed on all these attached islands.
-Should be a comma after "In other words"

==Trap! -1 Follower
Immediately lose one man follower. 
-?-What is a man follower?  Does that mean normal followers? Mayor? Builder?

This follower is removed from the players reserve or feature (player’s choice) and is discarded for the rest of the game.
-I'd change this comletely: "The player chooses any one of his followers to be removed for the rest of the game." or at the very least, add an apostrophe to "player's reserve".

Remove the tile from play after its affect has been carried out.
-Previously, you have been saying, "Revome this tile from play".  Same thing for the next 4 treasure descriptions.
-'Affect' should be 'effect'.  This also occurs in the next 4 treasure descriptions.

==Trap! -1 Boat
When a player springs this trap he immediately loses one boat follower (players’ choice) for the rest of the game.
-Add an apostrophe to "player's choice".

==Trap! Poisoned
This Trap poisons all of the players’ sailors.
-Trap doesn't need to be capitalized.
-?-Also, do you mean every player's sailors, or just the player's sailors who drew this treasure?  May have to move the apostrophe if so.

==Steal treasure
-in the description, treasure should be capitalized.

After the effect of this treasure is carried out, the “Steal treasure” tile is discarded from play. 
-I believe that treasure in "Steal treasure" should be capitalized.  Or to be more consistent with the previous descriptions, you could just say, "this tile is discarded from play."

There are two of these tiles in play...
-Are these tiles actually in play?  Or do you just mean that there are two of these tiles?

==Treasure Hunting Insurance
he may chose to disarm it and receive no effect.
-"Chose" should be "choose".

However he may not draw again this instance. 
-Comma after "However", and should be "again in this instance."

==Provintial Gouverneur
This is the most powerful Gouverneur of the ‘Carcassonne’ islands.  They are also  called "lieutenants généraux."
-There are two spaces between "also" and "called".

Gouverneurs Mansion
-?-Should that be plural like that?  Or should it be possessive(ex: Gouverneur's Mansion)  There are 4 instances in this section.

==Pintle & Gudgeon Rudders
These improved rudders enable boats to manoeuvre with ease.
-"Manoeuvre" seems to be British.  The english word would be "maneuver".

==Trading treasures
-"Treasures" should be capitalized in the title, also since it is a new category, the following paragraph should start on the next line.

Once acquired, players may trade treasures. 
-This was confusing.  I'd say, "Once treasures are acquired then players may trade them."

Trades may only consist of single, treasure-for-treasure transactions.
-No comma necessary.

If the trade is carried out there is a 5 Victory Point transaction fee for both players.
-Should have the word "then" between the words "out" and "there".

Once traded the treasures do not come into effect until the next round.
-There should be a comma after "Once traded,"

[skipboris]

Wow, thanks Gwommy!  That's a professional level of editing you did there!  Why do I miss these things?

[skipboris]

Here are my edits and there are some questions as well:


The challenger may then immediately turn in the map to claim a treasure.
-?-so if an opponent wins through a challenge, he doesn't have to dig and wait for 3 turns?
A: Yes.  It's as if the treasure was found then immediately stolen.  From a game perspective, the whole point of the 3 waiting turns is to add strategy.  Once the tile has been discovered by everyone there is no more intrigue.

==Body Guard
-Bodyguard is one word, there are 4 instances in this paragraph that should be changed(including the title).
I changed it in text but I think I'm leaving the art.

All of this player’s followers cannot be betrayed and sent to Chateau D’If island.
-Depending on what you are trying to say, is "and" the correct term?  If so, it should be "and are".  If not, then it should be "or".
Not sure what you mean on this one.  Betrayed and sent to chateau d'If?

If playing without ocean challenges or without any expansions, remove this tile from play and draw again.
-?-Does that really mean ANY expansion, even Cathars for example?  Or do you mean just ocean expansions?
Just the ocean expansions.  This tile is worthless if you are not playing with any threats to your boats. Fixed.

==Trap! -1 Follower
Immediately lose one man follower. 
-?-What is a man follower?  Does that mean normal followers? Mayor? Builder?
As opposed to boat follower.  Any follower in the shape of a man that can be used to claim features.

There are two of these tiles in play...
-Are these tiles actually in play?  Or do you just mean that there are two of these tiles?
Yea I'll reword to 'two available'

Whew!  I have endeavored to include all your comments in this latest version.  Thorough editing like this is extremely valuable so again thank you very much!

Here is the latest version:

http://www.mediafire.com/?tdmznfmydym

[Novelty]

I like the latest version.  I have no idea if it's just my copy of MS Word, but all the page numbers are showing up as "5" for me.  It's probably just me.  I look forward to the PDF of this!

[Gwommy]

The page numbers are showing up correctly for me.  Just a couple of edits left:

Bodyguard:
-There are still 2 instances where "bodyguard" needs to be changed to one word.

Provincial Gouverneur:
-The title is labeled "Provincial Gouverner" in french and in the description I see "Provincial Governer" in english.  I'd change "Provincial Governer" to "Provincial Gouveneur" to keep it consistant. OR you could change the Title to english, but then you'd also have to change the treasure tile to english.  Leaving the english spelling "Governor" in "Governor Mansion" is fine.

Other than that, it looks good!

[skipboris]

Awesome!  Thanks guys, here is 1.0 of the rules in PDF:

http://www.mediafire.com/?kkr2j2v0jgf

[Novelty]

I think I uploaded this correctly.  First fan-man expansion uploaded after the forums are up.  Merit point for you sir!